Here's Your Sign

Comedian Bill Engvall says that stupid people should have to wear signs saying “I’M STUPID!” so that everyone else can be forewarned.

Based on his “Here’s Your Sign” schtick, here are a few I’ve created just for fellow road enthusiasts…

NEW TRAFFIC SIGNAL

It’s the middle of June and a new traffic signal was installed and activated at the intersection of Main and Maple Streets.

You and your friend are driving down the road and he asks you, “Is that the new traffic signal?”, to which you reply, “Nope. Those are the city’s newest Christmas lights. Here’s your sign.”

ROAD WIDENING

A construction crew is doing work to widen the local crosstown expressway.

You and your friend are driving down the road and he asks you, “Are they widening the expressway?”, to which you reply, “Nope. They’re just a bunch of vandals doing damage to a perfectly good road. Here’s your sign.”

NEW HIGHWAY BEING BUILT

The transportation department is building a new 4-lane by-pass highway on the outskirts of town.

You and your friend walk over to observe what’s happening and he asks you, “Is that gonna be the new 4-lane?”, to which you reply, “Nope. The parks department is building the world’s longest football field. Here’s your sign.”

... and just one more for good measure...

TRAFFIC CAMERAS

New pole-mounted overhead cameras were mounted to help monitor traffic along the downtown expressway system.

You and your friend are driving down the road and he asks you, “Are those cameras up there?”, to which you reply, “Nope. They’re the new network of high-powered laser cannons the cops use to blast the bad guys as they travel down the road. Here's your sign.”

Hope y'all enjoyed them. Thanks for visiting and please come back again.